Three of a Kind
by PrsctrTails
Summary: It's got Damon. It's got Jyler. That's perfection in my book. Let's just say Jeremy and Tyler come to Damon for some 'help'. Hehe. C. For the Jyler Family/Cult!
1. Chapter 1

To call the music blaring would have been a bit of an understatement. The foundation of the Salvatore Boarding House was shaking, and the song had just started. Of course, the speaker system in the house was quite possibly stupidly loud. Not just that, it was Aerosmith; Cryin' to be specific.

Damon sat oddly calm in a comfy chair in the living, patiently reading through a very old copy of _The Turn Of The Screw_ while the song blasted and Steven Tyler loudly lamented about sweet misery. He had no desire to hear reality. Largely because it sucked. Hard. And not in a good way.

Not looking up from his story, Damon slightly arched an eyebrow. He fished the remote to the sound system up and lowered the volume. "Hello, Jeremy. Where's Wolfy?"

Jeremy never surprised by anything Damon did or said, rolled his eyes. "_Tyler_ is due by in a little bit," He corrected. "Why?"

"Just not used to seeing one without the other," Damon explained. He had a point. Ever since their hooking up, the most distance that anyone had seen between Jeremy and Tyler was probably four or five yards."What's up, _Jer_?" Damon asked, voice playful.

Ever since Jeremy and Tyler had hooked up, the young Gilbert had opened up a lot more. Now he actually talked to people and behaved like a normal teenager, albeit one who was heels over head in love. This had actually thawed the frost that had largely covered the potential friendship between Damon and Jeremy. This was one of the more amusing aspects of the whole thing. Damon was dangerously close to admitting that he enjoyed the company.

"Not much," Jeremy finally answered, dropping himself onto the couch. He was nothing if not informal.

"Feet off the furniture." Damon instructed. Jeremy completely ignored him.

"So, you're the only person in town," Jeremy yawned. "Everyone else is on vacation."

"Hence you're stuck spending time with my wonderful self," Damon said, rising from his chair and 'gently' rearranging Jeremy so both had room on the couch. Jeremy wore a bemused facial expression. "What? Is it just Tyler that's allowed to touch you?"

"Yes," Jeremy pouted. Though, that gave him a great off-ramp into his next question, which certainly counted as awkward. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Uh-oh," Damon smirked. "But sure."

"So, Tyler wants to get out of town this weekend. He has a cabin/chalet thing somewhere."

"How romantic," Damon quipped, imagining Jeremy and Tyler on the cover of a cheesy romance novel. "What's the occasion?"

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Jeremy blushed, but still smiling. "I think this is, uhh, supposed to be our...first time."

Damon couldn't remember in his 170 years a time when he laughed so hard. He was practically rolling on the couch, unable to contain the hilarity. "S...seriously?"

Jeremy, a little offended but still smiling, nodded. Damon laughing was attractive in a scarily creepy way. "It's Tyler's idea, I guess. He said he wanted it to be special."

Correction: Now Damon couldn't remember a time when he laughed so hard. The Vamp just wanted Jeremy to keep talking in the hopes that whatever came next would somehow be funnier. Damon gestured for Jeremy to keep talking. Jeremy rolled his eyes but still continued.

"We're supposed to leave in a day or so. And, well, neither of us has any idea what do." Jeremy explained, his shy cuteness radiating.

"Do?" Damon repeated.

"Yeah, do." Jeremy confirmed.

"...Wait, you don't mean... I'm supposed to tell you... how that works..." Damon found himself trailing, realizing he had been asked to explain the subtle and infinite mysteries of certain bedroom activities. It was now Jeremy's turn to laugh like an idiot. So much so he found himself unable to sit up straight, and thus slumped next to Damon, body riddled with near-giggles. "Really, Jeremy? You're asking me? Why?"

Jeremy was able to compose himself long enough to explain it the way Tyler had. "Look at you. In shape, stylish, perfect hair. You've done some guys in your lifetime."

Damon gave the kid credit for saying it like that. And for being right. "So what if I have?"

"Then help me and Tyler out," Jeremy implored.

"So it can be special?" Damon asked.

"Among other things, yeah. We'd also like it to feel as good as possible."

Okay, Damon was impressed with that. Or maybe he was just a little aroused at listening to Jeremy talk about how he wanted his first time to go.

"So, I'm supposed to tell you two how to screw?" Damon said aloud, his timing perfect as Tyler had just entered.

"Jer, seriously? You couldn't wait for me to get here?" Tyler asked, grinning slightly as he leaned over and pecked Jeremy on the forehead. Damon smirked at this, still not overly used to Tyler Lockwood not acting like a dick.

"Apparently Jeremy is less inhibited than we all thought," Damon smirked. "He actually had the guts to ask me to be y'alls sex coach."

Tyler took the open seat opposite Damon, sort of smiling the whole time. "And?"

Damon's attention shifted back and forth from the two teens, each wore a face that mixed humor with genuine interest. "Okay, just repeating. You two... want _me_ to show you all how to screw like men?"

"Yes." Jeremy and Tyler answered in unison, trading smiles.

Damon appeared deep in thought. It was an unusual request, but on the other hand he was a little touched that the two had come to him personally as opposed to some skeezy website. It was a little warped, but the elements of loyalty and trust were most definitely involved.

"I'll do it," Damon answered, to Jeremy and Tyler's relief. "On one condition."

"What?" Jeremy asked.

"I'm coming with you...and I want in."


	2. Ground Rules

The two teens stared at Damon, who was by now standing in front of them, his face plastered in a downright lascivious smirk.

"...What?" Jeremy finally said. Damon merely bounced his eyebrows.

"You both heard me," Damon said. "And you both know what I mean."

Indeed both of them did, but that didn't mean they knew how to approach the situation. Technically they had gotten their request, but Damon had added himself, thus complicating a simple equation.

"We kinda assumed you'd just like... actually, we weren't sure what you'd do." Tyler babbled.

"This thought never crossed your mind?" Damon laughed. "And how am I supposed to show you the ropes if I'm not there?"

"We hadn't gotten that far." Jeremy shrugged.

"Who else were we going to ask? Stefan?" Tyler asked, hints of a mocking snarl in his voice. Damon actually saw that as a valid. There wasn't anyone else in Mystic Falls that was a plausible candidate.

"Boys, boys. Calm down," Damon reassured, laughing out a sigh. "This is the type of thing best discussed over food. And booze."

Jeremy and Tyler nodded, knowing the older man was right. After all, they were the kids in this equation. They traded skeptical but decently reassured glances as they followed Damon into the kitchen. "You two make the eggs. I got the toast."

Jeremy and Tyler nodded as they made for the fridge. Damon couldn't help but laugh at how they interacted. It was entirely high school, and yet the two teens seemed like they were married. They had little bickering moments that were nothing short of adorable. And once or twice, Damon had stumbled upon Jeremy curled into the arms of the always-protective Lockwood. The facial expressions each wore were matching opposites. Jeremy, for once, looked safe and secure. Tyler looked equal parts loving and amazingly territorial. Damon had wanted to take a picture with his phone, but he was well aware that Tyler might actually view that as a threat, and not even Damon really wanted to know what an angry Tyler Lockwood could do.

Perched on the cabinet, Damon smirked as he watched the two teens jostle and purposefully bump into each other. He had lived _so long_ and seen _so many_ relationships, and not a lot looked or acted like these two. These two looked happy going through a pantry.

"Have either of you ever slept with a guy?" Damon asked.

They both shook their heads no. Damon nodded. "And you all are sure you want to do this?"

Both nodded.

"Okay," Damon smiled, finally fetching ingredients for French Toast. The trio amicably made breakfast, though Damon found himself refering to Tyler as a 'dog' once or twice. Oddly enough, it was Jeremy who flipped the proverbial table back at the Vamp.

"You know, he might be a dog, Damon... but he's my dog." Jeremy said, face in a very attractive and very serious smile. Tyler blushed a little, not used to Jeremy defending him. He kind of liked it. He also really liked it when Jeremy had said _he's my dog_. They finally settled at a table.

"So, have you all swapped the big three words yet?" Damon asked.

"Yes," Tyler answered for the both of them. "Why?"

"Because I want to make sure this isn't going to warp into a really twisted one-night stand." The Vamp explained.

"It isn't," Jeremy assured, almost looking offended. He wasn't mad at Damon, he was just a little miffed that someone might question his devotion to Tyler Lockwood. He chalked it up to Damon being genuinely curious about the nature of his relationship. Tyler and Jeremy didn't deny being together, but they didn't overly broadcast the fact. Damon understood and respected them for it.

"So, y'all want to learn how to do it?"

Again, they both nodded. But this time, Tyler spoke back. "What do you want out of this?"

"Some fun," Damon shrugged. "You two seem like you'd be good for a few go-rounds."

"Way to make us feel wanted." Jeremy chuckled.

"Jer, if you weren't wanted, I'd have thrown you through a window. Same with your dog."

Damon smirked, Tyler growled.

"I'll give you all the help and advice you could ever want," Damon reassured, leaning forward and somehow making eyecontact with the two teens at once. "I just have a few requests."

"Like?" Tyler asked, skeptical. This all was annoying to him. Sure it had been his idea to go find Damon, but maybe that was because he had forgotten how much of a dick Damon was.

"I'm going to have to be pretty involved, get it?" Damon smirked. The two teens got it. "And when I get involved, I can't have either of you getting...territorial. That's you, Lockwood."

Tyler bit his tongue, if only for Jeremy's sake. He wasn't about to ruin something that could end so well for he and Jeremy.

"Deal, Salvatore," Tyler grumbled, earning a small smile from Jeremy.

"Good," said Damon. "This'll be fun."


	3. Laying it Out

"So, you're describing a threeway?" Jeremy said, poking at his scrambled eggs.

"Essentially," Damon answered, giving a knowing nod. "But don't worry, I've been around the block enough to know how to multitask."

"So, you're a vampire _and_ a manwhore," Tyler broke in. "That's gotta be hard to juggle."

"He doesn't share well," Jeremy excused, kicking at Tyler's shin under the table. "You'll have to get used to that."

"Uh-huh." Damon said, once again trying to figure out the exact dynamic the two teens shared. Damon abandoned this line of thought when he realized that the two of them probably couldn't explain it either. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be deflowering the two of them or turning them into sitcom characters. Either way it would be decently amusing no matter the outcome. "I'm fine as long as Wolfy doesn't start smelling like wet dog halfway through."

"Dick!" Tyler called out. Jeremy laughed, earning a flirty wink from Damon. Tyler rolled his eyes. Geeze, Damon the manslut Vampire was putting the moves on his boyfriend. He was equal parts insulted and flattered. "Yeah, you two girl it up here, I'm going to go pack for the two of us," He said, ruffling Jeremy's hair. He was content to leave it at that, but decided he had to openly show off that Alpha Male dominance. Tyler leaned down to press a hard kiss to Jeremy's mouth.

From his end of the table, Damon smirked a little. Tyler's goal had been to inspire jealousy, but Damon just viewed this as a free show with really cute boys. After Tyler pulled back and departed, Damon finally spoke. "Congrats, Little Gilbert. You landed a stud."

Jeremy blushed. "Yeah, I know. Got lucky, I guess."

"Bullshit," Damon chuckled.

"Why's that?" Jeremy asked, cocking his lead like a puppy. Damn. Damon liked puppies. A lot.

"You getting lucky," Damon corrected. "You didn't."

"I didn't?"

"No, dumbass," Damon laughed. "Look in the mirror, Baby Boy. You're _gorgeous_."

Boom went the dynamite. Jeremy thought he would die from all the blushing. In all honestly, homicidal tendencies and violence aside, Jeremy had been drawn to Damon from day one. The younger Gilbert wasn't dense. He knew that he could live a very long time and never again see a man as beauteous as Damon Salvatore. Most guys, Jeremy thought, held secret crushes on school teachers or someone's overly-attractive mom. But Jeremy? Yes, he was in love with Tyler and always would be, but he could not lie about his adoration for the elder Southern vamp. A fan of art, Damon was the guy you spent years trying to paint or sketch perfectly, but probably never would.

Damon finished his food and cleaned his plate, Jeremy still sitting in self-impressed awe at the table. "Did I break your gooey little brain, Gilbert?"

"Uhhh... no?" Jeremy goofily chuckled. "Just..."

"Just what?" Damon aggressively purred, moving closer to Jeremy. "Out with it."

"Embarrassed." Jeremy shrugged, small grin in place.

"Tell me more," Damon said, letting a hand drift onto Jeremy's shoulder.

"Look at you, Damon," The teen almost stuttered. "You're... just...you're beautiful. It's also, you know, you're so old. I'm still kind of a kid."

"Age ain't nothing but a number, Baby Boy," Damon said, hand moving up Jeremy's shoulder to rest on his neck. Jeremy felt his knees quake as Damon's fingertips ghosted over his skin. "As far as Vamps go, I'm probably a teenager."

"Really?" Jeremy asked.

"Well, I sure as shit act like it," Damon winked, earning a comforted smile from Jeremy. At least Damon never went to route of the brooding martyr. Jeremy found that to be a major turnoff. Funloving and a little sassy was what Jeremy liked in a guy. Tyler and Damon had those traits in spades. "C'mon, gorgeous. I need help packing."

Jeremy turned to look up, only to see that Damon had done that little Vamp speed trick and was gone. He rolled his eyes as he stood up. His pace in fetching two suitcases from a tucked-away closet was slow and liesurely. Jeremy was a little amused that Damon's luggage wasn't jet-black. It was a lovely and peaceful grey. So out of place for Damon Salvatore.

Lugging the suitcases up the stairs, Jeremy sighed out a laugh, realizing he had been tricked into performing manual labor. Leave it to Damon, after all. He tried vainly to remember where Damon's bedroom was. Honestly, he avoided this place as much as possible. Not for dislike of the residents, but because...it was creepy. Racking his brain, he finally remembered where Damon's bedroom was.

"I picked these ou-" Jeremy stopped. Both his speech and his thought process stopped. Largely because his eyes were upon something that he thought he'd never be lucky enough to see.

Damon Salvatore. Naked. Completely.

There were no snide remarks, no sarcasm. There was just the taut body Jeremy had dreamed about for so many months. There was just that smirk and that shaggy hair that Jeremy thought only belonged to actors or male models. The room was silent as Damon finished smoking a cigarette and lit a new one. He held it carefully between two fingers as he eased himself down into a plush leather chair. Then, dear Lord, Damon spread his legs open, feet flat on the floor. His half-hard length causing Jeremy to lick his lips. He was open...inviting. Damon's eyes, those deep, blue eyes, trained on Jeremy."

"It's not going to suck itself."


End file.
